Boy crush

hey guys so i know i haven’t posted in a while and i have an okay explanation for that. you see i have a crush. this boy makes me have butterflies when i’m around him. something about him makes me head over heals for him. I am that girl that anxiously waits for him to text me back. and in one of those moments i got sent three words that made my heart explode.  I. Love. You. that may be the second best feeling in the world, first being when i’m around him. And that is what i do not understand what does he see in me that he sees in no other girl. why does he love me and not love no other girl. and if he says i’m beautiful i look in the mirror at myself and think i’m not beautiful what does he want from me. and then you realize every time you get something you want you take it for granted. i want him to love me and they second he did i started accusing him of messing with me or just saying that so i don’t feel bad.

Tell me some things you guys take for granted?


hey guys so today i almost had to do something i hate more than anything in the world… presenting in front of the class. I get some many mixed emotions when i’m presenting because my grade has three hundred people and each class is completely full. so these are my thoughts as i’m about to get called.

I’ve never hated being tall more in my life as i hide behind my desk partner but my head pops over like a giants head over a mountain. my stomach is over flowing with butterflies gradually reaching my throat about to explode out of my mouth one by one. a million luminescent balls starring at me  waiting to see failure. waiting for me to slip a mistake . that’s all anyone wants to see these days is someone else fail but themselves. someone else embarrass their selves in front of everyone. when one persons self esteem goes up another goes down. when someone fails someone succeeds. when someones self esteem goes up make yours go even higher. when someones succeeds, succeed even greater. being the greater person makes you a greater person. instead of sitting in the back of the class dreading to share information with others, share the information, present, be the reason they change something in their life for the good of it. be the hero for others but mainly for yourself.

Just a normal day

so today is January 7, 2016 just the beginning of the new year. today i went to school got an f on a quiz had a fight with a family member, those are only the highlights of my day. that’s also a normal day for me.  One loud word diverse and distinct from any other and my calmness vanished turning into a hurricane washing over my body. the ground falling from my feet grow only a pit of fire overheating my body making my face bright red. screaming and yelling wanting it to all stop. but how does it stop. that constant argue of disguise. making one loud diverse word like any other, conquer the hurricane not letting it conquer over you, climb the mountain and stand proudly on the top not falling off. talking in a normal voice telling them to stop make it all stop, cause that’s when it ends. it all ends. every little word, every drizzle of rain, every mountain being climbed.  instead of waiting for time to stop everything on our living universe to vanish, hope that day doesn’t come.


The Beginning

So this is my first time ever doing a blog. i thought it would be a good idea because most the time i have a lot going on in my life and need to get things out, and if say anything to my friends they will either tell the whole school before i can finish the story or they will hardcore judge me for not doing what they would have done. basically i’m gonna start at the beginning.

one day i was born and since then i have had a hell of a life. I’ve met some pretty incredible people and done some amazing things but everyone has those downs in their life. basically i’m here to give and receive advice.

We all have that boy that we are head over heels about but he’s in love with your best friend. I can’t tell you mines name but i’m head over heals for his name too. My best friend’s name is gonna be Hope, and the guys name is Austin. So me and Hope were talking about Austin, whom she doesn’t like at all, as we are talking i’m just sitting acting like i hate him too. I have to act like I hate him around her because she caught me snap chatting him one time and didn’t talk to me for a week. Without her i would be lost, which is why I can’t date him when he gets over her. But she has done that to me so many times behind my back so it’s not a bad idea.

What should I do keep talking to him or let him go?